RAWLINS WYOMING WINTER 1891 THE WIND THAT MET THE MORNING TRAIN DIDN’T WHISTLE IT GROANED LIKE THE LAND KNEW ANOTHER STRANGER HAD ARRIVED WITHOUT A PLACE TO LAND NORA VANCE STEPPED DOWN SLOW FROM THE LAST CAR HER BOOTS STRUCK THE PLANK WITH A HOLLOW SOUND ONE HAND GRIPPED THE HANDLE OF A BATTERED TRUNK THE OTHER TUCKED A FOLDED LETTER DEEPER INTO HER COAT POCKET SHE’D READ IT SO MANY TIMES SHE COULD RECITE IT PLAIN WORDS HONEST TONE A MAN NAMED ROYCE MERCER WIDOWER 59 SEEKING A STEADY WOMAN TO BUILD SOMETHING WITH
I DON’T WANT A BRIDE I WANT A PARTNER SHE’D BELIEVED HIM THE PLATFORM WAS NEAR EMPTY SNOW CRUSTED THE EDGES TWO BOYS TOSSED PEBBLES DOWN THE RAIL LINE THE STATION CLERK GLANCED UP DIDN’T SMILE AND THEN SHE SAW HIM ROYCE MERCER CLEAN COAT TRIMMED MUSTACHE HAT PULLED LOW HE STEPPED OUT FROM BEHIND A STACK OF CRATES AND WALKED UP SLOW LIKE THE SIGHT OF HER WAS SOMETHING HE HADN’T PREPARED FOR MISS VANCE YES HE PAUSED EYES TRAVELING TOO SLOW ACROSS HER FACE DOWN TO HER HANDS THEN TO THE TRUNK I THOUGHT YOU’D BE YOUNGER
SHE LET THAT HANG IN THE AIR I’M 58 SHE SAID AND I GOT HERE ON TIME I MEAN NO OFFENSE I JUST I WAS HOPING TO START A FAMILY RAISE CHILDREN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEARER YOU WERE CLEAR ENOUGH YOU JUST DIDN’T WRITE WHAT YOU WERE THINKING AND I DIDN’T COME HERE TO BEAR SONS FOR STRANGERS HE LOOKED AWAY JAW SET I’M SORRY THIS WON’T WORK AND JUST LIKE THAT HE WALKED OFF THE PLATFORM DIDN’T ASK IF SHE NEEDED HELP DIDN’T OFFER A RIDE DIDN’T LOOK BACK THE TRAIN GROANED BEHIND HER AND PULLED AWAY
DOWN THE TRACK NORA STOOD STILL TRUNK AT HER SIDE NOTHING WAITING BUT SNOW AND WHISPERS SHE WASN’T NEW TO DISAPPOINTMENT BUT THIS FELT LIKE IT HAD TEETH THE STATION CLERK OPENED THE SIDE WINDOW NEXT EASTBOUND’S NOT TILL THURSDAY YOU CAN LEAVE THAT TRUNK INSIDE IF YOU WANT NO ONE WILL TOUCH IT SHE DIDN’T ANSWER RIGHT AWAY THEN BENT DOWN GRIPPED THE HANDLE I’LL CARRY IT AND SHE DID SHE WALKED OFF THAT PLATFORM LIKE IT WASN’T HER FIRST TIME BEING LEFT BEHIND BECAUSE IT WASN’T SHE HADN’T COME TO BE CHOSEN SHE CAME BECAUSE SHE’D ANSWERED A QUESTION HONESTLY
AND SOMETIMES THAT’S ALL A WOMAN CAN DO RAWLINS WAS A TOWN THAT MINDED ITS OWN IT DIDN’T WELCOME AND IT DIDN’T WARN IT JUST WATCHED AND AS NORA VANCE CARRIED HER TRUNK ONE HANDED ACROSS FROST STIFF BOARDS THE TOWN DID PLENTY OF WATCHING SHE PASSED THE GENERAL STORE A BOY SWEEPING THE STOOP PAUSED DIDN’T SPEAK DIDN’T NOD JUST WATCHED THE CHURCH BELL RANG WITHOUT MUCH ENTHUSIASM ONE CLANG THEN QUIET NORA DIDN’T SLOW SHE HADN’T COME TO BE PITIED AND SHE WOULDN’T BEG AT THE EDGE OF THE MAIN STREET SHE PAUSED TO CATCH HER BREATH
HER HANDS WERE RED THROUGH THE GLOVES THE TRUNK HEAVY WITH MEMORY AND LINEN THUDDED AGAINST HER BOOT WITH EACH STEP THAT’S WHEN SHE HEARD HIM YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE DRAGGING MORE THAN YOU PACKED SHE TURNED GIDEON BLAKE LEANED AGAINST THE POST OUTSIDE THE LIVERY TALL WORN LIKE THE LAND COAT PATCHED IN THE SHOULDER NO SMILE BUT NOT UNFRIENDLY THAT DEPENDS SHE SAID YOU OFFERING HELP OR JUDGMENT? HELP DON’T COME WITH STRINGS JUDGMENTS FOR MEN WHO DON’T HOLD DOORS SHE WATCHED HIM ANOTHER SECOND THEN NODDED ONCE WAGONS TIED UP OUT BACK
YOU NEED A PLACE TO SET IT DOWN? YOU ALWAYS INVITE STRANGERS TO SUPPER? ONLY THE ONES STILL STANDING AFTER BEING DROPPED SHE DIDN’T ANSWER NOT WITH WORDS SHE JUST PICKED UP THE TRUNK AGAIN AND FOLLOWED THE RIDE OUT OF TOWN WAS QUIET THE KIND THAT DOESN’T ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’S TOO BUSY LISTENING SNOW PACKED BENEATH THE WHEELS THE HORSE DIDN’T HURRY NEITHER DID THEY GIDEON BROKE THE SILENCE ONCE YOU COME WEST FOR HIM? I CAME WEST FOR HONESTY SHE SAID DIDN’T FIND MUCH MAN’S A FOOL HE MUTTERED NO A FOOL DON’T KNOW BETTER
HE KNEW THAT WAS ALL THEY SAID UNTIL THE TREES THICKENED THE CABIN CAME INTO VIEW JUST PAST THE RIDGE MODEST BUILT LOW CHIMNEY PUFFING STEADY INSIDE IT SMELLED OF PINE AND STRONG COFFEE HE BROUGHT HER TRUNK IN WITHOUT ASKING SET IT NEAR THE FIRE CHAIR’S YOURS STOVE’S HOT I DON’T ASK QUESTIONS AFTER DARK YOU LIVE ALONE? LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW IT DON’T MEAN EMPTY I HAD GOATS ONCE SHE SAID SUDDENLY THEY ATE EVERYTHING BUT THE BIBLE AND THE FENCE THAT MAKE YOU A WIDOW OR A SHEPHERD BOTH SHE SAID BUT I BURIED THE MAN LET THE GOATS RUN
HE DIDN’T PUSH SHE DIDN’T EXPLAIN MORE THEY SAT IN SILENCE FIRE SNAPPING LOW BETWEEN THEM TWO CHAIRS ONE ROOM AND NO ONE MEETING TO PROVE THEY BELONGED THE FIRE BURNED SLOW AND LOYAL NORA SAT IN THE ROCKER GIDEON PATCHED A BOOT LACE BY THE TABLE NO ONE SPOKE BUT NOTHING WAS MISSING THEN CAME THE KNOCK THREE SHORT RAPS TOO CLEAN FOR A MAN LOST IN WEATHER GIDEON BLAKE STOOD FIRST REACHED FOR THE RIFLE BY THE DOOR LIKE IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN PART OF HIM NORA VANCE DIDN’T FLINCH SHE JUST FOLDED THE QUILT TIGHTER AROUND HER LEGS
HE CRACKED THE DOOR OPEN WITH CARE EVENING SAID THE MAN OUTSIDE NAME’S JED CARVER HORSE SNAPPED A LEG TWO MILES BACK I’VE BEEN WALKING SINCE SUNDOWN YOU FOLKS GOT A FLOOR I CAN BORROW? THE MAN LOOKED ROUGH BUT NOT RAGGED HIS COAT WAS SOAKED HAIR SLICK WITH MELTING FROST EYES THAT MOVED TOO FAST GIDEON SIZED HIM UP you hurt? JUST COLD JUST TIRED you armed? ONLY WITH CHARM GIDEON DIDN’T SMILE BACK BLANKETS BY THE FIRE FLOOR’S YOURS YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF JED STEPPED INSIDE LIKE HE’D BEEN INVITED HIS EYES SWEPT THE ROOM NORA
THE TRUNK THE TABLE COZY HE SAID DIDN’T FIGURE YOU FOR A COUPLE NORA LOOKED UP THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ASSUME TOO MUCH HE CHUCKLED LOW AND EASED DOWN NEAR THE FIRE TOO CLOSE TO HER TRUNK STORM WILL TRAP US IN HE SAID STRETCHING OUT NO USE WORRYING TONIGHT I AIN’T WORRIED GIDEON SAID THAT MAKES ONE OF US JED MUTTERED LATER WHEN JED’S BREATHING HAD EVENED OUT TOO EVEN TOO FAST NORA WHISPERED LOW HE’S NOT ASLEEP I KNOW GIDEON REPLIED YOU SEEN THIS BEFORE ONCE
SHE DIDN’T ASK RIGHT AWAY THEN SOFTLY you want to tell it? MY BROTHER BROUGHT HOME A MAN AFTER THE WAR SAID HE’D SAVED HIS LIFE TURNED OUT HE’D RATHER TAKE MINE THEN EARN HIS OWN KEEP what happened? LET’S JUST SAY I WOKE FIRST SHE NODDED ONCE NO DRAMA NO PITY JUST TWO PEOPLE SHARING A TRUTH BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT TO CARRY IT OUTSIDE THE WIND PUSHED AGAINST THE CABIN INSIDE IT MET SOMETHING IT COULDN’T MOVE BY MORNING THE WIND HAD CALMED BUT THE SILENCE HAD WEIGHT THE KIND THAT MAKES A MAN SHIFT IN HIS SLEEP
AND A WOMAN KEEP ONE HAND UNDER THE QUILT NEAR THE REVOLVER SHE HADN’T TOUCHED IN YEARS NORA VANCE SAT IN THE ROCKER EYES ON THE MAN BY THE FIRE JED CARVER HADN’T MOVED ALL NIGHT NOT A TWITCH NOT A SIGH Gideon Blake stirred the stove like he wasn’t watching but he was JED SAT UP TOO FAST FOR A MAN HALF FROZEN GRINNED LIKE NOTHING HAD PASSED THAT’S SOME FIRE HE SAID YOU FOLKS SURE KNOW HOW TO KEEP A GUEST ALIVE NORA DIDN’T ANSWER YOU ALWAYS OFFER UP SHELTER to strangers? only when the storm’s MEANER THAN THE MAN GIDEON SAID
JED LOOKED AT NORA AGAIN SLOWER THIS TIME AIN’T MANY WOMEN LIKE YOU AND THIS FAR OUT GOOD THEN YOU WON’T HAVE ANYONE TO COMPARE ME TO WHEN I THROW YOU OUT JED LAUGHED LOW AND SHARP THEN MOVED FAST HE LUNGED FOR THE RIFLE BY THE DOOR GIDEON BLOCKED HIM WITH HIS SHOULDER SENT HIM INTO THE WALL JED CAME UP WITH A KNIFE BUT NORA WAS ALREADY STANDING THE REVOLVER WAS OUT BEFORE EITHER MAN COULD SPEAK DROP IT JED TURNED TOWARD HER YOU’RE BLUFFING TRY ME SHE SAID HIS EYES DARTED TO GIDEON WHO HADN’T MOVED THEN BACK TO HER
YOU AIN’T GONNA SHOOT ME I’VE BURIED WORSE SHE SAID AND I’M NOT IN A FORGIVING MOOD HE PAUSED THEN LET THE KNIFE FALL WITH A CLATTER YOU’RE BOTH CRAZY NO GIDEON SAID WE JUST KEEP WHAT’S OURS GET OUT NORA SAID JED LOOKED TO THE DOOR YOU THROW ME OUT THERE I FREEZE THEN MOVE FAST GIDEON SAID JED HESITATED ONE SECOND TOO LONG THEN LEFT SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM LIKE IT MEANT SOMETHING NORA LOWERED THE REVOLVER placed it back behind the flour tin GIDEON DIDN’T SPEAK RIGHT AWAY THEN YOU’VE DONE THAT BEFORE ENOUGH TIMES TO KNOW WHEN
NOT TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO PULL THE TRIGGER HE NODDED ONCE AND JUST LIKE THAT THE ROOM SETTLED AGAIN THE FIRE CRACKLED THE SNOW HELD ITS BREATH AND THE TWO OF THEM SAT NOT SHAKEN JUST CERTAIN THE STORM WAS DONE BUT THE COLD LINGERED IT CLUNG TO THE TREES AND TUCKED INTO THE SHADOWS BENEATH THE CABIN EAVES INSIDE THOUGH THE HEAT STAYED IT WASN’T FROM THE FIRE ALONE NORAH VANCE STOOD AT THE WINDOW WATCHING THE RIDGE WHERE THE STRANGER HAD DISAPPEARED GIDEON BLAKE WAS FIXING THE HINGE ON THE BACK DOOR QUIET WORK THE KIND THAT STEADIED THE HANDS
THEY DIDN’T TALK ABOUT THE NIGHT BEFORE DIDN’T NEED TO THE KIND OF DANGER THAT PASSES THROUGH AND LEAVES YOU BOTH STANDING THAT’S ITS OWN CONVERSATION LATER THEY WORKED OUTSIDE STRETCHING WIRE ALONG THE SOUTH FENCE POST IS CROOKED SHE SAID SO IS THE GROUND HE REPLIED YOU FIX ONE THE OTHER LEANS HARDER HE LOOKED OVER AT HER THEN JUST A GLANCE STILL WORTH SETTING RIGHT THAT WAS ALL THEY SAID FOR HALF AN HOUR THAT NIGHT NORA CAME IN FROM WASHING BY THE PUMP AND FOUND A SECOND CHAIR MOVED BESIDE THE FIRE HER TRUNK HAD BEEN NUDGED ASIDE JUST A LITTLE TO MAKE ROOM
HE DIDN’T MENTION IT SHE DIDN’T EITHER BUT SHE SAT IN IT AND THAT’S WHAT COUNTED LATER AFTER THE DISHES WERE STACKED AND THE FIRE WAS SLOW GIDEON POURED HER A SECOND CUP THERE’S A DANCE NEXT SATURDAY HE SAID SHE RAISED AN EYEBROW you dance? POORLY HE SAID BUT NOT ALONE IF I CAN HELP IT SHE SIPPED SLOW YOU ASKING ME TO BE STARED AT in a room full of people who already decided who I am? NO HE SAID I’M ASKING IF YOU’LL STAND BESIDE ME WHILE THEY TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHY I’M SMILING MORE THAN USUAL SHE SET HER CUP DOWN you sure?
I’VE BEEN SURE OF LESS AND ASKED MORE SHE DIDN’T ANSWER NOT RIGHT THEN BUT SHE DIDN’T SAY NO EITHER WHICH WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH THE SKY OVER RAWLINS CLEARED COME SATURDAY EVENING LIKE EVEN THE CLOUDS WANTED TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN NEXT THE SNOW HAD CRUSTED HARD THE BOOTS THAT CROSSED IT HAD PLACES TO GO NORA VANCE STEPPED DOWN FROM THE WAGON SLOW AND SURE HER DRESS WASN’T FANCY BUT IT WAS PRESSED HER COAT BUTTON NEAT HAIR PINNED WITH A TOUCH OF LAVENDER FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER TRUNK THE KIND THAT HOLDS MORE MEMORY THAN SCENT
GIDEON BLAKE OFFERED HIS ARM SHE DIDN’T HESITATE NOT BECAUSE SHE NEEDED HELP BUT BECAUSE IT WAS TIME THE TOWN HALL GLOWED WITH LAMPLIGHT AND FIDDLE MUSIC LAUGHTER INSIDE ROLLED LIKE A RIVER THAT HAD FORGOTTEN THE FROST WHEN THEY STEPPED IN THE AIR CHANGED EYES TURNED VOICES HUSHED THEY REMEMBERED THE WOMAN WHO’D ARRIVED ON A TRAIN WITH NOTHING BUT A TRUNK AND THE LETTER NOW SHE WALKED IN WITH SOMETHING THEY COULDN’T MEASURE GIDEON LED HER TOWARD THE FLOOR NOT PULLING NOT PRESENTING JUST BESIDE HER LIKE THEY BELONGED NOWHERE ELSE
still sure? HE ASKED I DON’T DO THINGS HALFWAY THE MUSIC DIDN’T STOP NEITHER DID THEY THEIR STEPS WEREN’T POLISHED BUT THEY MATCHED A DANCE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T OWE THE ROOM A THING WHISPERS ROSE SOME STARED SOME TURNED AWAY BUT NO ONE STEPPED BETWEEN THEM ONE WOMAN NEAR THE PUNCH BOWL SAID SHE’S TOO OLD FOR THAT NORA HEARD IT DIDN’T FLINCH DIDN’T SLOW GOOD MEANS I’M DANCING FOR ME NOT THEM HE SMILED YOU ALWAYS WERE BY THE END OF THE SONG NO ONE WAS WHISPERING NOT BECAUSE THEY’D CHANGED THEIR MINDS BUT BECAUSE NORA VANCE DIDN’T NEED THEM TO
SHE’D SHOWN UP ANYWAY WITH QUIET BOOTS A STEADY HAND AND NO APOLOGY AND THAT KIND OF WOMAN DON’T NEED PERMISSION TO BE REMEMBERED THE RIDE HOME WAS SLOW NOT FROM SNOW FROM STILLNESS THE KIND THAT SETTLES WHEN NOTHING NEEDS PROVING ANYMORE NORA VANCE LEANED BACK IN THE WAGON BESIDE GIDEON BLAKE HER GLOVED HAND RESTING ON THE EDGE OF THE BENCH SHE DIDN’T SPEAK DIDN’T NEED TO THE NIGHT AIR PRESSED AROUND THEM SOFT AS WOOL ABOVE THE SKY WAS WIDE AND STAR HUSHED BACK AT THE CABIN THE FIRE WAS OUT BUT THE COAL STILL WARM GIDEON HELD THE DOOR OPEN
SHE STEPPED THROUGH HER TRUNK SAT BY THE WALL QUIET WITNESS TO THE WHOLE THING HE POURED WATER INTO THE KETTLE SET IT ON THE STOVE COFFEE AT THIS HOUR ONLY FOR COMPANY THAT MATTERS YOU NEVER ASKED WHY I CAME SHE SAID DIDN’T NEED TO HE REPLIED AND YOU NEVER ASKED IF I PLANNED TO STAY HE FINALLY LOOKED AT HER FULL YOU ALREADY DID AND IN THAT SMALL QUIET CABIN WHERE NOTHING WAS PROMISED BUT WARMTH AND WOOD SMOKE NORA VANCE KNEW WHAT IT MEANT TO BE CHOSEN BY SOMEONE WHO SAW HER STANDING
AND NEVER LOOKED AWAY AND THAT WAS HOW NORA VANCE LEARNED THERE IS NO EXPIRATION ON LOVE ONLY SEASONS IT HAPPENED ONE MONTH AFTER THE DANCE SNOW STILL CRUSTED THE HILLS BUT THE CHAPEL ON THE EDGE OF RAWLINS STOOD DRY AND LIT WITH MORNING NORA VANCE WORE A DRESS OF DARK BLUE SATIN PLAIN AND CUT BUT PRESSED AND SHINING UNDER THE CHAPEL WINDOWS HER GLOVES WERE PEARL BUTTONED HER BROOCH PINNED PROPER HER HAIR WAS PULLED BACK SOFT AT THE SIDES JUST THE WAY GIDEON HAD SAID HE LIKED IT GIDEON BLAKE STOOD WAITING AT THE FRONT
COAT BORROWED FROM A FRIEND BOOTS SHINED COLLAR STIFF HE LOOKED UNCOMFORTABLE BUT NOT UNSURE HIS HANDS DIDN’T SHAKE THAT’S HOW FOLKS KNEW IT WAS REAL THE CHAPEL WAS SMALL JUST SIX PEWS AND A BELL ABOVE BUT IT WAS FULL ENOUGH A PREACHER OLD AS FENCE POSTS AND TWICE AS UPRIGHT STOOD WITH A LEATHER BOUND BOOK THREE RANCH HANDS WHO’D WORKED BESIDE GIDEON SINCE THE DAYS AFTER HIS BROTHER PASSED FILLED ONE PEW A WIDOW FROM THE FEED STORE THE BLACKSMITH’S SON AND A SCHOOL TEACHER WITH STORIES IN HER SMILE SAT ACROSS FROM THEM
AT THE FRONT NORA WALKED IN ALONE NO ONE GAVE HER AWAY SHE’D NEVER NEEDED HELP TO STAND STRAIGHT BUT AS SHE REACHED HIM GIDEON OFFERED HIS HAND OPEN AND WAITING AND SHE TOOK IT NOT TO LEAN ON BUT TO WALK BESIDE do you take this woman? I ALREADY HAVE GIDEON SAID and do you nora vance take this man? I RECKON HE TOOK ME IN BEFORE HE KNEW HE HAD THEN BY GRACE AND GROUND you’re husband and wife AND WHEN THEY TURNED TO FACE THE ROOM NO ONE CLAPPED THEY JUST STOOD AND NODDED BECAUSE SOME UNIONS DON’T NEED APPLAUSE JUST WITNESSES
THAT SUNDAY THE BELL ABOVE THE CHAPEL RANG ONCE NOT FOR TRADITION BUT BECAUSE SOMEONE WANTED IT TOO AND IN A PLACE WHERE SILENCE USUALLY WON JOY HAD THE LAST WORD
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